Pitied by a sympathetic family of Howler moneys, he was taken in and raised as one of their very own. As Alexis grew older he realized that being a child prodigy in the arts and possessing the ability to howl across three mountains were not the skills he was going to need to realize his dreams. For one thing, he needed to learn how to walk upright and to use his mind for other things besides opening bananas and complicated voice projection. To raise money for college he went to the roadside and sold his parents for 40 bucks.
In college he came across an entirely different sort of simian beast: the legendary "White Gorilla." Leaving college he returned to the jungle where he joined a rebel force of Colombian guerillas. Making his way up the ranks, thanks in part to his superb monkey-like outdoor abilities, he become the head of a large and powerful Colombian drug cartel. With his newfound power, life was good and glamorously hedonistic. In time, he grew weary of this deceptively hollow and cushy lifestyle. Yearning for something more, he looked out into the world and saw there was a need for a change. Turning toward the little people, he decided to use his power and influence to do good, to change the world for the better, to give something back to his community, his country and the world as a whole.
Emboldened with this new sense of purpose he funded, directed, and starred in his own porn movies. In spite of his hard work. Long hours, unparalleled dedication and deep commitment the business failed. People thought it was sick watching him make love to two monkeys. Letting go of the business was painful, for he had poured so much of his heart and soul and man fluids into it. The upshot however, was that it gave him time to heal the scratches, punctures and penetrating bites inflicted by so many insolent she monkeys... his duties as porn star of monkeys was over.
An era had ended, and a new dawn spread its light over the land, healing the past in the wake of a new day. Turning toward his true passion and natural talents, he focused what was left of his creative juices into drawing the icons on Ecstasy pills. For this he quickly became famous and loved by all. He was soon heralded as the father of the Venezuelan Rave Movement. In a rousing speech to the jubilant masses on live television, he proclaimed "Drugs are fun and make me feel good!" He then passed out. This statement caused a great political rift in the people of Venezuela and eventually led to the problems in Venezuela we see today.
On a bad trip, Alexis thought his future was in the United States. Seeing his destiny before him, Mr. Ziritt stepped up and met its call. He now resides in the U.S., where he spends his time between cartooning and dealing in the lucrative international black market where he sells Venezuelan oil to the CIA.
P.S. Alexis no longer howls three mountains over or makes love to monkeys, even when he wants to.
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